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Stop
Use Before It Starts!
Parents
are the biggest deterrent to their kids' using drugs and alcohol.
According
to the Office of National Drug Control Policy (U.S.), believing in
and practicing the following tips can help you turn your kids away
from drugs and alcohol before they even start.
GET
INVOLVED
-
Establish
"together time." Establish a regular weekly routine for doing
something special with your child - even something as simple as
going out for ice cream.
-
Don't
be afraid to ask where your kids are going, who they'll be
with and what they'll be doing. Get to know your kids' friends
- and their parents - so you're familiar with their activities.
-
Try
to be there after school when your child gets home. The "danger
zone" for drug use is between 4 and 6 p.m., when no one's around.
Arrange flexible time at work if you possibly can. If your child
will be with friends, ideally they should have adult supervision
- not just an older sibling.
-
Eat
together as often as you can. Meals are a great opportunity
to talk about the day's events, to unwind, reinforce, bond. Studies
show that kids whose families eat together at least five times
a week are less likely to be involved with drugs or alcohol.
TOP
LEARN
TO COMMUNICATE
-
Be
absolutely clear with your kids that you don't want them using
drugs. Ever. Anywhere. Don't leave room for interpretation. And
talk often about the dangers and results of drug and alcohol abuse.
Once or twice a year won't do it.
-
Be
a better listener. Ask questions - and encourage them. Paraphrase
what your child says to you. Ask for their input about family decisions.
Showing your willingness to listen will make your child feel more
comfortable about opening up to you.
-
Give
honest answers. Don't make up what you don't know; offer to
find out. If asked whether you've ever taken drugs, let them know
what's important: that you don't want them using drugs.
-
Use
TV reports, anti-drug commercials, news or school discussions
about drugs to help you introduce the subject in a natural, unforced
way.
-
Don't
react in a way that will cut off further discussion. If your
child makes statements that challenge or shock you, turn them into
a calm discussion of why your child thinks people use drugs, or
whether the effect is worth the risk.
-
Role
play with your child and practice ways to refuse drugs and alcohol
in different situations. Acknowledge how tough these moments can
be.
-
Be
a living, day-to-day example of your value system. Show the
compassion, honesty, generosity and openness you want your child
to have.
-
Know that there is no such thing as "do as I say, not as I
do" when it comes to drugs. If you take drugs, you can't expect
your child to take your advice. Seek professional help for yourself
if necessary.
-
Examine
your own behavior. If you abuse drugs or alcohol, know that
your kids are inevitably going to pick up on it. Or if you laugh
uproariously at a movie when someone is drunk or stoned, what
message does that send to your child?
TOP
LAY
DOWN THE LAW
-
Create rules - and discuss in advance the consequences
of breaking them. Make your expectations clear. Don't make empty
threats or let the rule-breaker off the hook. Don't impose harsh
or unexpected new punishments.
-
Set a curfew. And enforce it strictly. Be prepared to negotiate
for special occasions.
-
Have kids check in at regular times. Give them a phone
card, change or even a pager, with clear rules for using it. (Remember
that pagers are not allowed in some schools.)
-
Call
parents whose home is to be used for a party. On party night,
don't be afraid to stop in to say hello (and make sure that adult
supervision is in place).
-
Make
it easy to leave a party where drugs are being used. Discuss
in advance how you or another designated adult will come to pick
your child up the moment he or she feels uncomfortable. Later,
be prepared to talk about what happened.
-
Listen to your instincts. Don't be afraid to intervene
if your gut reaction tells you that something is wrong.
TOP
PRAISE
& REWARD
- Reward good behavior consistently and immediately. Expressions
of love, appreciation and thanks go a long way. Even kids who
think themselves too old for hugs will appreciate a pat on the
back or a special treat.
- Accentuate
the positive. Emphasize the things your kid does right. Restrain
the urge to be critical. Affection and respect - making your child
feel good about himself - will reinforce good (and change bad)
behavior far more successfully than embarrassment or uneasiness.
Additional
reinforcement outside the home is also key. Youth First supports several
Tri-State organizations that implement research-proven prevention
programs. Click here to learn
more about some of these programs.
For
more information about these and other ways parents can help keep
their kids drug and alcohol free, visit www.theantidrug.com.
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