By Sarah Postlewaite, Courier & Press, March 17, 2017 –
It’s no secret that all families are busy. Besides homework, many families have music or sports practices, performances, club meetings and games. In most families, one or both parents work while the kids and the parents are involved in various activities.
Our days and years go by so fast we hardly have time to breathe. When we look back at the week, sometimes it’s hard to remember if the whole family spent any quality time together.
I grew up in a large, busy family, but I do remember having lots of quality time with both my parents and siblings. My parents placed importance on family rituals. These rituals really shaped my childhood and were so ingrained in me that I now try to make them central to my own family.
Family rituals are important to the health and well-being of today’s families trying to juggle the busy demands of work, home and social lives. Family rituals are powerful organizers of family life that offer stability during times of stress and transition.
One of the more common rituals is family dinnertime, sharing a family meal together one or more nights a week with no phones, electronics or other distractions. Bedtime is also a great time to start a ritual, especially with smaller children. Parents and children can end the night reading books, telling stories or sharing one good thing that happened that day.
Another option is choosing a day of the week that is less busy for your family and making that a “family day/night.” When the weather is nice our family takes a Sunday night walk together or discusses the upcoming week over a small family meeting.
Of course there are always holidays and birthdays built in throughout the year that can be celebrated and made into special events with little money spent.
Whatever you choose to do with your family, just make sure the rituals created are tailored to the needs, attitudes, personalities and limitations of your family. Try to work within the framework of your “real” life as much as possible. Creating something that is tailored to your family life will help these rituals stay consistent, enjoyable and lasting.
Family rituals also give children a sense of belonging and validation. They promote a sense of identity in the child, which will later serve as a basis for adult development.
The importance of recurring family rituals, from the simple decision to enforce an attendance policy for evening meals to more complex family gatherings cannot be over emphasized.
If we look at the possibilities in ritualizing some of our current family experiences, we begin to see ourselves, our families and our time with them in a different light. Through the use of rituals we can help ourselves find extra time with our family that we may be missing.