* Striking a Balance – Time Management for a New School Year

By Lisa Cossey, LCSW, Courier & Press, August 29, 2017 –

With most children already back at school for a new year, many families will find themselves in a struggle for the ages: wants versus needs.

Many families have difficulty finding a balance between work and play.  But what if the struggle is between your child’s academics and their extracurricular activities?

It would be hard to find a parent who would say academics aren’t important, but at times it seems academics are in direct competition with having fun.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s great for kids to have fun.  They need active and sensory experiences to help them grow and develop.  Extracurricular activities can also be a great way to develop skills.

But if your child’s academics are suffering or your child is upset, tearful, moody or more anxious than normal, it’s time to take a hard look at your family’s schedule.  And if you’re spending more time in the car than you do in your home together as a family, it’s definitely time to step back and reassess your priorities.

 What is your child doing? Do they have one activity, or two, three or four?  How many hours a day are they away from home?  How many nights a week is your family away from home?  Is your child getting enough sleep at night?

A healthy balance is needed between school and extracurricular activities.  At this point in the year, your family will soon have a good idea of how much homework your student is going to receive daily.  Evaluate what your child and family can handle.

For reference, according to Dorothy Sluss, President of the U.S. Chapter of International Play Association, for every week of intensive activity, three weeks of less structured time and activity are needed to maintain a healthy balance for children.

If your child’s grades are not what they used to be, or if they are having more incomplete or missing work, it may be necessary to back off the wants and focus on the needs.  It is OK to drop an activity due to falling grades or place a limit on how many activities your child is able to join to keep a healthy balance.  Putting academics ahead of sports, scouts  and dance is OK too.

We have a culture that encourages and supports many sports and other activities.  Encouragement is great.  The issue is when children feel pressured to commit and join.  It is OK to say no.  It is OK to put your family’s needs first.  It is OK to limit the number of activities your family is involved in.

If you have concerns for your child or need further ideas on how to strike the right balance for your family, please feel free to reach out to your child’s teacher or to the Youth First School Social Worker at their school. We are here to help.

Striving For Work/Life Balance

Work life balance

By Deena Bodine, LCSW, Courier & Press, April 12, 2016 –

I recently read a headline that challenged the notion of work/life balance. I didn’t make it very far into the article because, frankly, it isn’t something I want to believe.

Many of us wear multiple hats as parents, significant others, sons or daughters, colleagues, employees, etc. There must be a way to find balance within these roles.

This concept of homeostasis, a relatively stable equilibrium, has proved even more important as my husband and I welcomed our fourth child. Her arrival has allowed me to give some thought to giving my best at home and work while keeping sacrifices minimal.

Let go of perfection. The pressure we put on ourselves to meet expectations that don’t fall in line with reality can be unbearable. Unrealistic expectations can weigh on our relationships with our significant others and children. Prioritize what is most important to you and strive for that while keeping expectations in check. And don’t forget to cut yourself some slack.

Embrace your village. If you have family or a dependable baby sitter available to help with your children, having caregivers that truly care for your child can put your mind at ease when at work or taking time for yourself. Ask for and accept offers of help.

Plan ahead. It seems simple enough, but taking a few minutes the evening before can save a lot of frustration and rush in the morning. Prepare lunches, lay out clothes and pack up school or diaper bags. Place items near the door alongside keys for a quick departure. Use Sunday evening to prepare for the week, discussing the school lunch menu, extracurricular activities and logistics, and planning meals for the week.

Implement a family calendar. We have recently developed a family calendar to compliment what is in my personal planner. Our calendar includes after school activities, weekend events and the school lunch menu. Yours can be catered to the needs of your family. My kids have enjoyed the ownership of having their activities included. We can direct them to the calendar when they have questions about what will be served for lunch at school or who will pick them up.

Develop family rituals. Make family time rich in quality in the event there is limited quantity. This doesn’t have to be intensive. For example, encourage each family member to share one thing they are thankful for each day. Write these items on a slip of paper and collect in a jar or write them in a notebook to review together later. Take turns allowing each family member to plan an activity. Limit television or checking your phone so that you can focus on interactions with one another. Ultimately, it is less about what you do as long as you do it together.

Carve out time for yourself. Whether you spend time recharging with a book before bed or prefer to get up a few minutes early to enjoy the quiet with a cup of coffee, setting time aside for self-care helps us to be more effective in all our roles. It isn’t selfish or a luxury.